God and Satan, and of course Edward
by Nope sorry
Summary: My name is Edward Cullen, and I'm a Guardian. And now, I found my angel, Bella. Oneshot. ExB. Don't read if you have strong religious beliefs and get offended easily.


**One Shot: Don't give me any hate reviews because this is just a one shot. This isn't any of my beliefs, because I don't believe in religion. This idea just happened while I was thinking in class. I don't know anything with God or Satan, so if I made a mistake too bad.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

**E****POV:**

My name is Edward Cullen, and I am neither "good" nor "bad". Let me explain what that means. I died at the age 18 because of a car crash. My precious Volvo… Anyways, I have never believed in God or the Devil, Heaven or Hell, but I guess there was. When I died, I remember walking down a road. I just kept on walking down the road, hoping it would take me somewhere, just out of there. I was confused because I thought I died of the crash. On my left, there was a town with torn apartments, houses on fire, dogs barking at people, seductive-looking women, beat-up looking men, gunshots firing, blood-curling screaming, and more horrific things. On my right, was a neat, nice, warm-looking place to live. There were all kinds of people, grocery stores filled with wonderful food, malls filled with mostly teenagers, modern houses, playgrounds with little kids running around, and more pleasant things. I kept on walking, not sure where I was. All of a sudden two men appeared in front of me. One looked like John Stamos, while the other resembled George Clooney. The one who looked like Stamos had ripped dark jeans on, with a red button down shirt. The one who looked like Clooney had light jeans on with a dark blue button down shirt.

Then, all of a sudden, the one with the red shirt, extended out his hand and said, "Hello. You must be Edward Cullen. I know you are very confused, like most of the others. But let me introduce myself. I'm Satan."

The man on the right said, "Hello Edward. As Satan said, I know you are very confused, but we will explain everything in a bit. I am God." I shook both of their hands, and almost fainted. God? Satan? I had never believed in a religion, so this was all new to me.

"Please come with us, we will explain everything while we walk to the cemetery." I walked with them, not really caring where I went or what to believe. I walked in the middle, trying to clear out my mind with these two men who were apparently "Satan and God". Wasn't God supposed to be this almighty god that lived in the clouds and had angels surrounding him? Wasn't Satan supposed to be all red with horns and a tail? I guess nothing really made sense to me my whole life.

God started and said, "Well, we will just make this very simple because I know you never believed in a religion, so we'll just cut to the chase."

Satan added, "Thank god you don't believe in a religion! Whenever I introduce myself everybody always gets scared. I hate how people exaggerate my reputation."

Now I was confused out of my fucking mind! "How do you know that?"

They laughed in union and said, "We are God and Satan, we know everything of everyone. We know that you died in a car crash. We also know that you are very confused right now, so we will explain everything."

God continued, "So we already know everything of you, so we will decide if you should go to Heaven or Hell. I have your file right here, and me, you, and Satan will discuss where you should be placed."

Satan cut in and said, "Well let me explain how Heaven and Hell started. We tried to let everybody live in peace together, no heaven or hell. Then it got out of control, so we split up the people, the people who learned from mistakes, and the people who just keep on doing mistakes, mostly on purpose, and who don't learn from anything. I guess that is how humans got the "good" and the "bad". Anyways, we separated them, and both gave them a continuous city, resources they need, and just about every technology. We told both of the cities to use the resources we gave them to make a successful city. If you look on your right, there is the city that was successful, that was made by the people who have learned from their mistakes, and the city on the left was made by the people who just won't learn. We call them Heaven and Hell. We didn't make Hell bad, the people who were brought there made it bad themselves by not cooperating and working together. Instead, they fought and look what happened. And also, to inform you, I am not evil. I just rule Hell, and God rules Heaven. That doesn't mean I am a bad person, I just got assigned to look over Hell. God and I are both good people; just have different places to rule over. So as God said, we have your file, and we will all go over it to see where you would be better off. We believe that you have a say too, so you will discuss with us. "

Wow, I never though of heaven and hell that way. We arrived at the cemetery, and I saw a round table and 3 chairs around it. We all took a seat in each of the chairs, and I just looked at the folder that was placed on the table. I wonder what it says about me. Does is have a brief overview of me? Does it have all the details of my life? Is it a lie or is it the real truth?

"Are you ready to open the folder?" God asked.

I nodded, and reached for the folder. I slowly opened it and I saw…

A picture. A picture of me. That's is. I looked if there were any more papers underneath but there was none. A full-length picture of me was it. There was nothing else. I just stared at my own face in the picture confused.

God said, "We can see everything you have done just by looking at the picture. When we look into your eyes, we see what you have seen, when we look at your mouth, we will hear what you have said, when we look at your ears we hear what you have heard. When we look at your nose, we will see all the thoughts you have thought."

Satan continued for God, "When we look at your hands, we see what you have done. When we look at your feet, we see where you have been to. When we look at your chest where your heart is, we will see the goals you had for life. When we look at you whole, we will see one word that describes you whole." So is that how they decided? Guess it was fair enough, not really caring where I go to. When I was alive, I was an only child, with two always drunk parents. I never had a girlfriend because none of the girls appealed to me. I always had good grades in school, and was hoping to attend Berkeley. I never really had any friends, just one, whose name was Laurent. He just ate lunch with me, and not really anything else. I guess I was considered and anti-social, but that's ok with me.

Satan asked, "Are you ready?"

"Sure."

God said, "I'll start. When I look into your eyes, I see you as a little boy, getting hit by your parents. Your parents…. they were always drunk, am I correct?" and he started listing off important events that have happened. They started with my eyes, went to my mouth, nose, ears, heart, feet, hands, and most of my body. When they asked me questions, I gave them my point of view on things. When we finally finished, probably hours have passed. Satan and God looked at each other, having a silent conversation.

Satan's voice cut through the silence like a knife and said, "We can't decide. You are unlike any human I have ever met."

God agreed, "Yes, you remind me of me and Satan combined. A little bit of both of us. You have done mistakes, but you have learned from them. However, it wasn't you who caused most of your mistakes, it was your family. You look at the world in a very… artsy way kind of. In a different perspective. We have not dealed with a lot of people like you. Maybe one or two. Satan, don't you agree?"

"Yes, I just don't know where to put him. He doesn't exactly belong in Heaven, but not in Hell either. He is different. Very unique. He isn't like anybody else."

I guess my sarcastic side kicked in and said, "Well isn't that what every person wants to hear."

God and Satan looked at each other and had another silent conversation. They finally looked at me and said in union, "Where would you like to go? Heaven or Hell? We decided you should make the choice. Nobody knows you better than yourself."

I pondered on the thought, not knowing what to do. I knew deep down that the Heaven people might not accept me, and that I would be kicked out of Hell. I had no idea what to do. This was coming to fast for me. One minute I get into a car crash, the next I meet God and Satan who apparently are good friends and good people, and now I'm basically choosing my fate even though I am already dead. Then I decided where I wanted to be.

"Do I have to pick? Why can't I be with you guys and decide if somebody should go to Heaven or Hell? I think it would be fun." I said in a calm voice. I bet they thought I wouldn't say that. Hah. Well I always figure out the loopholes, and another mission was complete. I am just very simple. I wanted to be with them, not with the others. From that day on, I was a Guardian. Not exactly an angel, just a Guardian, which is what I am called. God and Satan, yeah they're my friends. Now not everybody can say that can they? Years have passed, and I'm used to not aging. I guess once your dead, you can decide if you want to age or stay the same. It's like a whole other world. I'm so glad I don't have to wear a long robe or anything. I just wear my regular clothes. I have my own place, next to God and Satan. I love them, and they love me. They are the only people that actually understand me, so they can befriend me. Whenever somebody dies, my watch beeps, and the three of us meet at the road where I had first walked. We explain to them what happened and why, and we all decide to where they should go. It was quite easy.

One day, I heard my watch beep, and I hurried to the road of confusion. That is what I called it, I think it fits perfectly. Once I got there, I saw that God and Satan were running late. I'll just wait here. Then, I think I almost fainted when I saw _her._ She definitely had to be an angel. Her long mahongy hair flowing down her back. Her slender yet curvy body was walking towards mine. Her heart shaped face was a snowy white, her cheeks tinted pink. Her full red lips looking so kissable. Her wide brown doe eyes filled with emotion, framed with long dark eyelashes. I didn't know everything about everyone like God or Satan because that is they're special gift, not mine. But once I looked into their file and saw the picture, then I could read them. I was disappointed that God had the file; I wish I did to see this beautiful creature's life. I just stared at her like the idiot I am.

She came up to me and asked, "Um, I am confused. Where am I?" Her voice was melodic and silky, she had the most beautiful voice I have every heard.

And I have met many people; she is far by the most gorgeous without a doubt. All of a sudden, God and Satan appeared at my side. Then they started with their introductions. When it came to me, I said, "I am known as the Guardian. But you can call me Edward." Her eyes were boring into mine and I couldn't pull away from her eyes. I just got lost in her chocolate colored eyes. Satan noticed and started to chuckle. I broke our gaze, and glared at him. We explained everything to her while she followed us to the cemetery. God and Satan were in front of us, while I was walking next to this angel. I figured out her name was Isabella Swan, but she told us to call her Bella. We arrived at the table and sat in our seats, mine next to her's. She opened her folder, and stared at the picture of herself. I looked at her eyes and I saw her as a little girl, crying because she saw her mom die of cancer. I saw all of the events that had happened in her life. I looked at every part of her body, and saw what kind of person she was. She was misunderstood, a loner. I didn't understand, how could this angel be a loner? She had no boyfriend, so I was confused on why she wasn't taken yet. She was sort of like….me. Except she died in a tragic way... I wish nobody that kind of death she received. Right then and there, I knew she was my soul mate. We clicked together, like puzzle pieces. God and Satan gave each other knowing glances and I knew what they were going to do.

"Bella, where would you like to go? Heaven or Hell? Take your time." They said calmly. Bella's brow furrowed while she looked like she was thinking really hard. She crossed her arms, which made her chest more pronounced. I immediately changed my gaze to my lap, knowing I shouldn't have been looking at her like that.

After several minutes, she spoke up and said her decision, "Can I be like Edward? Can I stay with him and he can teach me to be a Guardian? If that is ok with you Edward." She turned her head to me and stared at me with her wide eyes.

God turned to me and said, "Is that ok with you?"

Satan chipped in and said, "Can she stay with you and become a Guardian? You know, she reminds us of you, we can't decide where she should go. Just like you."

I smiled and said, "Of course she can stay with me."

That night, she came with me to my place. It was just a small house with a kitchen, dining room, a bedroom, a guest bedroom, living room, and my own person music room where I keep my instruments. Yes we're dead, but that doesn't mean we can't have houses or entertainment. I showed her around the house, and told her that we can go anywhere, to heaven or hell, and we won't get hurt or kicked out. Guardians are very powerful, next to God and Satan. We lay on my bed and talked for hours. We talked about family, friends (well for me lack of friends) and I told her about my whole life since I already knew hers. Now it was like we knew each other our whole lives. I am not sure how love is supposed to feel like, but I think I love this woman next to me. I just hope she loves me back. My arms were around her, her arms were around my waist, and she fell into a deep sleep. Before I fell asleep, I heard her say, "I think I love Edward". The last thought I thought that night was 'god and satan, I love this angel, Bella, and thank you for letting me love her.' If it weren't for them, I would have never met Bella and would have never find love. Heaven and Hell, God and Satan, we all have our differences, but we could all come to peace when it comes to love.

**A/N: I'll just keep this a one shot unless you guys want me to turn it into a story or something. Remember, I don't believe in religion so this is none of my beliefs, this was just a random story that popped up in my head, and I just had to write it down. Please review.**


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